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The Guardian reported that North Korea has allegedly sentenced the President of the United States to death for “insulting” their little rocket man of a leader, Kim Jong Un. They also referred to him as a coward because he chose not to visit the inter-Korean border while he was in Asia.

Trump’s helicopter taking him to the DMZ had turned back after just five minutes due to bad weather – an explanation the newspaper dismissed.

“It wasn’t the weather,” the editorial mockingly suggested, “He was just too scared to face the glaring eyes of our troops.”

This is actually quite humorous to me, because the United States can literally wipe North Korea’s smug look right off their face with the push of a button. How dare they threaten the life of our leader?

 

An editorial in the ruling party newspaper Rodong Sinmun focused its anger on Trump’s visit to South Korea last week, during which he denounced the North’s “cruel dictatorship” in a speech to legislators in Seoul.

The visit was part of a marathon five-nation Asia tour by the US president aimed largely at galvanising regional opposition to the North’s nuclear weapons ambitions.

The piece claims, “The worst crime for which he can never be pardoned is that he dared [to] malignantly hurt the dignity of the supreme leadership,” it continued, “He should know that he is just a hideous criminal sentenced to death by the Korean people.”

Of course Kimmy’s feathers were ruffled when President Trump tweeted from Hanoi, “Why would Kim Jong-Un insult me by calling me ‘old,’ when I would NEVER call him ‘short and fat’?”

Which, to be fair, I laughed at for about three days.

Was it petty? Heck yes it was. I aspire to be the level of petty that Trump is. He is the master troll and I love him for it! Does it deserve death? Perhaps if you’re a short, fat dictator with little man’s syndrome!

 

The members of the ruling Kim dynasty – past and present – enjoy near god-like status in North Korea, which has demonstrated extreme sensitivity to any remark that might be seen as mocking or disrespectful of the leadership.

 

Long live Emperor Trump!

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