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Holding up a convenience store with a fake gun tucked into the pocket of a sweatshirt or trench coat has become such a common entertainment trope that young thugs around the nation believe it must have worked at some point.

The move reeks of desperation, with gas station and convenient store robberies populating the lowest possible echelon of violent crime in American society.  Those who would attempt to frighten a minimum wage worker into opening a cash register in the dead of night are not only lazy, uninventive crooks, but they aren’t even original in their scheming.

Secondly, these things barely ever work.  More often than not, we end up watching CCTV video of these attempted crimes via some clip show on basic cable, where the robber is thwarted by some piece of mundane decor or a well-placed good samaritan.

Now, to call into question the intelligence of the robbers in today’s article would be a bit too easy, given that their fake gun was smuggled into the store past a hired security guard with a real gun.

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“Two hooded teenagers, at least one of them apparently holding a handgun, leap the counter at the convenience store and order the cashier to open the register.

“They must not have noticed the security guard outside.

“As the cashier backs away, hands in the air, the guard storms in, brandishing his weapon.

“The audio is clear: One of the teens tells the guard he’s not armed, saying of his weapon, ‘It’s fake! It’s fake!’

“’Oh, well,’ says the guard. ‘Mine is real.’ He then shoots the robbers.”

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This moment of Bruce Willis-like badassery came complete with its own catchy one liner?  How appropriate for these young thugs who likely lifted their entire plan from some B-grade movie streaming on Amazon.

Now, once these young men emerge from the hospital, and head for prison, they may wish to come up with another story to tell their new cellmates as to how they ended up in the clink.  The only thing more painful than their gunshot wounds will be the embarrassment of having to explain this one to the hardened criminals they’ll soon be surrounded with.

 

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